We are born into this world energetically open and in full contact with our whole inner nature. With our creative life-force (sexual energy) flowing freely through us as the most natural thing in the world. Without blocks, restraints or shame.
And when we as small children play freely, are enjoying life, and are 100% in the moment, we are in intimate contact with our sexual energy; the inner delight. In play, in being, in spontaneity and freedom.
A healthy child will naturally touch and play with it self sexually. And through self-touch the child is capable to create intense orgasmic bliss/delight throughout its whole body, by the virtue of its fully open energy-state, as it haven't yet learned about shame.
That's the place we all come from, before our innocense is tainted by life.
Through our childhoods most of us learn, to different degrees, to shut down, adapt and behave in a certain way in order to be accepted by our social group. Sometimes it is to survive in a hard and cold world, which isn't always kind towards - or understand - our innate inner limitless essence.
We learn to survive by overly controlling ourselves, freeze and tighten up, and thereby we narrow the pathway of what we allow to flow through us. Because if we let go, it might be that we are expelled from the group, or subjected to the same assaults again, or whatever the case might be for the individual. These mechanisms are of course on a subconscious level.
We shift from feeling our way through life, to thinking our way through life
One could call it the trauma of letting go of control, which most people learn early on, just to various extent and in different ways. The shame of innocense.
We learn to compromise ourselves, and step down, down, down…until we have adapted ourselves into a tiny little box: Our role. Which our surroundings find great comfort in locking us into, and that's how we get reshaped and reconstructed into "well-behaved" predictable role-constructions. We get our surroundings green pass and acceptance to have a place in the game, - which we on the other hand become in danger of getting addicted to.
But deep inside, we have an eternal longing towards our innate limitlessness, our divine loving contact with our soul and our inner free-flowing sexual delight, which we came here with. This longing is for most people subconscious.
Instead we seek to quench this subconscious soul-thirst through relationships; the hope of getting redeemed through another in love. Through career or outer approval. Or we seek to soothe ourselves through temporary means; sex, porn, games, food, alcohol, cigarettes or shopping.
But it will easily turn into disappointment when there is nothing in the external world that can truly fill this inner hole - it will catch up with us sooner or later. And there is a great risk that our pile of shit will grow even bigger, and we might wear ourselves out unnecessarily in the dramas and bumps that we create in our attempts.
Only love and authenticity from the inside can truly fill this hole within us. It's the only energy that will truly make us feel content, happy, give us peace, and make us shine from fulfillment.
But how? As I have already mentioned in the tekst "Love"; we must reunite with our pain to reopen our heart (soul) and energy. It's like a birth with tough labours. Its at times an elongated, painful, messy, and uncontrollable process, which keeps most individuals far away from penetrating this dark and mysterious area. It is primarily spiritually seeking people, or people who have reached a brutal and deep psychological chrisis, who dare to embark unto these lands - only necessity will make us go there.
The psyche and the soul will sometimes create circumstances in our lives, which cause our world to break down, which can cause us great pain. One can choose to see it as a blessing in disguise; events designed to take us into a higher track, that we would never have pulled ourselves towards otherwise.
The pain and the meeting with it, is sometimes our greatest blessing, because the eternal avoidance of it will lead os to "dead end"; where nothing can live, and love is stagnate.
To re-open our inner energetic shut off areas, and reclaim our true selves, is what tantra is all about.
Healing (re-opening) happens by being met - and to meet ourselves - by conscious awareness and love. It's a process.
Healing and transformation does not happen through the fixation on needing to change or be something else, than what we are. That will only cause us to sink even further into the mud. As the stuff we are busy to get away from, always will follow us, and even grow in strength the more we run.
"What you resist persists"
